How Do I Know If I’m Bisexual? – My Self Discovery Tale

“Don't worry about a thing,every little thing is gonna be alright”I have asked myself that very same question so many times over the years. How do I know if I’m bisexual? Really, how?

Most things in life don’t come with a manual, so you need to figure it out for yourself. I’m in no way saying that there should be a manual on how to be bisexual, but heck, I sure could have used one. Or at least someone to very clearly tell me ‘Ana, stop this heterosexual bullshit. You know you are bisexual, right?’.

Looking back now, I realise that the signs were all there. I just choose to ignore them. It was easier that way.

The first time that I remember wondering if I was bisexual was when I was about 12 years old. I was flipping channels in my bedroom when this new TV show came on. I decided to give it a go and I was instantly hooked. Gilmore Girls was perfection but the thing is, I couldn’t take my eyes of the most gorgeous women I’d ever seen. To this day I still have the biggest celebrity crush on Lauren Graham, or Lorelai Gilmore as she is known in the show. That show not only made me question my sexuality, but also shaped me as a woman.

I wasn’t the only 12 year old in love with that show, a lot of my friends were too. However, while most of the girls were all giddy about their crushes on Dean and Jess, the two young teenage boys of the show, I wasn’t that bothered. I remember 12 year old me thinking that I must not be normal. All the other girls were obsessing over the boys, I should have been doing the same. So when they asked me who I thought was the hottest, I said ‘Jess’.

That was the first time I lied to myself.

How come, I’m almost 30 years old and do not know my own sexuality? I believe that for the most part it has to do with the fact that I have grown up in Portugal. I grew up with a lot of comments like:

‘I don’t have anything against it but I really don’t understand it!’

‘I’m okay with them getting married but now to adopt? I don’t think so.’

‘Well, I kinda understand being a Lesbian or Gay but what’s Bisexual? That’s just another word for greedy. Pick a side’.

For the other part I was 100% sure I was attracted to boys, so I did what it was asked of me, I picked a side.

‘Maybe I’m not bisexual! Maybe I’m just the type of person who can appreciate the same sex, doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them.’

That’s what I kept saying to myself. Ignoring the fact. I had the same amount of crushes on female wrestlers than male. Ignoring the fact, that any red head female on TV just got my love instantly (looking at you Debra Messing).

It’s like I was trying to find excuses for my own sexuality.

When I was 16, I questioned things again. At that point I only had kissed boys so I thought that my doubts as a kid were a thing of the past.

However, on a night out clubbing those doubts come crumbling back in the shape of the softest strawberry lips ever, and the touch of a beautiful girl.

We are big on dancing in Portugal, that’s the main reason to go clubbing, so it’s also very normal when you are a good dancer that other good dancers approach you. There aren’t any intentions from it, apart from having some fun. (Not sure if things are still the same, for one the legal drinking age limit has gone up from 16 to 18 years old).

That night while I was dancing, this gorgeous girl – with beautiful long curly hair and who was maybe a year older than me – came up dancing next to me. She moved to the beat like the music was an extension of herself. I was in a trance, captivated by her movements. We danced together for a few songs, the club couldn’t get their eyes off us and I couldn’t get my eyes off her.

Later on that night I went outside for some fresh air, and there she was. She approached me ‘You are such a great dancer’ she said to me. I was still mesmerised when she gently grabbed me by the waist and kissed me. I’m sure that my reaction to such a surprise kiss should have been seen as sign (Oh yes, I kissed her back and don’t regret it one bit).

That kiss haunted me for years to come. Every time I put myself out there as a heterosexual my mind came knocking ‘But what about that kiss? Remember how you enjoyed it?’. The thing is, it was much easier to repress that other side of my sexuality than having to deal with the storm of comments. Things were already hard as they were growing up, I really didn’t want to bring something else to the plate.

I believe I repressed that side of me, because I thought I was doing myself and my family a favour, but I realised now that not being true to myself did me no favours.

Growing up, I never talked with people about my doubts. I never actually stopped to have a proper conversation about it with a friend. Maybe if I had, things would’ve been different. I think in my mind, I thought if I didn’t said it out loud to anyone then it wouldn’t be real.

I know, stupid, right? Doesn’t really work like that. It’s always real, even if you don’t admit it to yourself.

Throughout all of these doubts in my life I’ve always known where I stand for LGBTQ+ rights. I’ve always made a stand for equality and to try and change people’s narrow mindedness. I always challenged my family’s views on it. Always defended anyone being bullied for being who they are.

But what I don’t understand is how could I be so strong for others and be so weak for myself? I know now that I was living the life that was expected of me, and not what I wanted for myself.

Moving to England at 21 was when my self discovery as a woman started. I became who I was supposed to be. Still it took me until last year to actually make the first step to talking with someone about being bisexual.

I think it was because I thought, what was the point now? I have been in a loving relationship with the most amazing (and handsome, if I do say so myself) man for the past seven years. I found who I want to spend my retirement days with, so is there any need to figure out now, if I’m bisexual or not?

I realise that part of the struggle was the fact that I had never actually hung out with bisexual people before. I’d always hung out with people that were straight, lesbian or gay. It wasn’t until recently that I connected on Twitter with some freaking awesome girls, two of whom are bisexual, and who gave me a better understanding of myself.

I learned that bisexuality isn’t as black and white as it was made to be. It’s more like a spectrum, and suddenly it all made sense to me.

This is what led to me asking my fellow bi-friend in the middle of a bookshop ‘How do I know if I’m bisexual?’ She looked at me and said ‘Well, if you saw yourself single would you consider dating a woman?’ I don’t think I even hesitated when I said that I think so. ‘Well, there you go then. Welcome to the club!’ she said.

Coming to terms with my own sexuality in the middle of a bookshop at 29 years old wasn’t how I saw things panning out. But hey, better later than never, and at least I was surrounded by the things that bring me the most joy. We then kept chatting away via group text that day and it was a relief to just let it all out.

That was the first time I talked out loud about my doubts. I came home that day and nervously talked with my boyfriend about it. I told him that I had been having these doubts for some time and that I thought I was bisexual. ‘I kinda always thought you may be a bit. Do you feel better knowing?’ Heck Yes I do! Especially, when you have someone so understanding like him by your side.

I now have talked about it with three of my best friends that know me for so long and everyone has been super supportive. One of my best friends being a Portuguese gay man, really understands the doubts.

For him there wasn’t a way for him to repress his feelings, he knew he was gay and he had to grow up in Portugal with the struggle of being gay man. I got the easiest escape, as the only person bullying me was myself.

I have come a long way, but I feel that I would never be able to be completely honest with everyone. I still struggle to see a reason to tell my family who I truly am. We’ve all gone through so much, and we still are. I’m never truly myself around them anyway. I love them more than anything in the world, but we are so very different.

Most won’t understand it, especially with me being in a relationship with a man and the fact that I’ve never had one with a woman. People find it hard to grasp that you don’t need to have a relationship with the same sex to be sure if you are bisexual. It pretty much goes the same way as falling in love with the opposite sex. It’s literally the same. I don’t need to go check out a vagina to know. Just sayin’.

For now this is the end of my tale, and there isn’t any better way to finish this than by saying:

Hi, I’m Ana, I’m bisexual and proud! X

*Fangirlsince1988 xxx

This post was originally posted on Thehairypotato.co.uk.
Advertisements

Blog Tour: A Bad Boy Stole My Bra by Lauren Price

Synopsis From Goodreads

Imagine waking up in the dead of night to find your hot new neighbour dangling out of your window. What’s more, he’s clutching your tattiest bra in his hand.

What. The. Actual. Fudge.

When bad boy Alec Wilde moves in next door to Riley, sparks fly. After their ‘unconventional’ introduction, Riley is determined to get her own back. A nemesis is just the distraction she needs: inside, she’s barely holding it together. It’s game on.

But behind the banter, there’s a side to Alec that Riley actually likes. How can she get through to the real him when she can’t even take herself seriously?

Review

Lauren Price debut novel A Bad Boy Who Stole My Bra first came out on Wattpad, the readers loved it so much that it got picked up by a Ink Road, from Black and White Publishing. I wasn’t one of the Wattpad readers, but I’m definitely a fan now.

As I have mentioned before, I am a bit of a sucker for romantic YA books, especially the ones that are a bit of a slow burner. The will they or will they not moments are always the best. There isn’t anything better than screaming ‘Freaking FINALLY!’ at your book when the main character and her love interest finally get together.

A Bad Boy Who Stole My Bra not only has a funny title but the banter between Riley and Alec will just make you laugh out loud on the bus.

I used to be a bit of a prankster, especially when it came to prank boys! This book basically brought back all those funny memories of my teenage years. Which was too long ago! I absolutely love Riley and Alec’s relationship, from how it started to how it ended, and all the banter in between.

At times the story can fall a bit into some of the romance clichés but I would say that is still modernised cliché. As keeps all the best bits and takes away the bad ones. For example, even though there is a typical mean girl, I like how there isn’t any kind of slut shaming which is often too overused as a way to bully each other. It’s quite refreshing.

This book its perfect for any young Romance lovers out there. You will laugh, you will cry and you will make sure you lock your bedroom window so no bad boys come steal your bra at night!

It’s funny and witty, with a big dose of romance. Just how I like it!

Rating: ★★★★☆

A Bad Boy Stole My Bra by Lauren Price is out in paperback and is available for purchase on Amazon(affiliated link).

Thanks Ink Road for sending me an ARC of  A Bad Boy Stole My Bra in exchange for my honest review.

*FangirlSince1988 xxx

Blog Tour: The Truth About Lies by Tracy Darnton – Review

Synopsis from Goodreads

Jess has an incredible memory. She can remember every single detail of every single day since she was eleven. But Jess would rather not be remarkable and, after years of testing at the hands of a ruthless research team, she has finally managed to escape.

Just when Jess thinks that she’s managing to settle in to living a normal life, everything changes. Her boarding-school roommate dies and the school is thrown into a state of chaos and grief. Then new boy Dan appears and Jess can’t help but find herself drawn to him. But building relationships is hard when you can’t reveal who you really are and Jess is getting hints that someone knows more about her than she would like.

Is it time to run again? Will she ever be truly free?

Perfect for fans of E. Lockhart, Eve Ainsworth and Sophie McKenzie.

Review

One of my favourite things about The Truth About Lies by Tracy Darnton is Jess, the main character. She isn’t your typical likeable character to start with but the more you get into her head and understand how her brain works you start to warm up to her. I do tend to love an unlikable character, one that comes with many flaws and hidden secrets.

The book is extremely well written and I love that each chapter starts with a quote on the subject of Memory. Not only you are reading an awesome story, but you are also learning a few things about Jess’s condition.

I’m not gonna lie, when I was younger I wished I had photographic memory so I could be one of those people who could recite entire books to others, like I had a super skill. 

As any good thriller, straight from the beginning of the book, you start asking too many questions, who is Jess hiding from? What really happened to her roommate? Who is sending Jess creepy notes? Is Dan really interested in her? Is the new teacher actually a teacher? Is Jess’s memory actually that reliable? Has anyone been in my room and moved things around? Is someone following me? Is my boyfriend really my boyfriend? 

Just like Jess I was getting too suspicious of everything and everyone. However, Jess has her reasons for it. The more you get into the story, the more you get to understand why Jess is how she is, and why she is so suspicious of everything. I like how we get so deep in her mind and her feelings that even I was suspicious of every new character and start to read in between the lines maybe a bit too much.

I do love a good thriller and The Truth About Lies really kept me on my toes until the end. If you like thrillers, with a dash of romance and a good dose of mystery this book is definitely for you. Just be aware that this book can also leave you a bit paranoid and suspicious of everything and everyone.

Rating: ★★★★☆

The Truth About Lies by Tracy Darnton will be out in paperback on the 12th of July and is available for pre-order on Amazon(affiliated link).

Thanks Stripes for sending me an ARC of The Truth About Lies in exchange for my honest review.

*FangirlSince1988 xxx

Blog banner

Blog Tour: The Truth About Lies by Tracy Darnton – Author Post

 

The Joy of Book Journals

“It’s got an orange cover and it’s by Richard Someone or maybe Roberta.” In the ten minutes it takes me to wander down to Mr’s B’s Emporium for a book I’ve just seen reviewed somewhere, I’ve often forgotten the title and author. And, like most people, I’d struggle to recall more than the general gist of a book a month after finishing it, or to quote an actual sentence. Our memories just don’t work in that way.

So I have a little book. A book journal. Not that exciting on the outside, but the inside is stuffed full of notes and cuttings and the occasional cartoon. I write brief notes on most of the books I read. I started when I was doing an MA in Writing for Young People at Bath Spa University as I had to cite them in essays. If an author used a technique I might want to explore like multiple narratives or a diary format, this was all duly noted ready to use for reference.

I’ve carried on with the journal because it helps with my own writing. What makes me love this character or find the dialogue convincing? Am I ever bored and skipping sections or is the author making me stay up late to keep on to the end? I’m reading as a writer looking at the craft of the author. And I don’t want to waste that process – so I need an aide-memoire.

I’ve never shown anyone before but here’s a sneaky peak inside my book journals and a flavour of the random notes I’ve made:

I loved Sally Gardner’s Maggot Moon and copied out the dedication: “For you the dreamers. Overlooked at school. Never won prizes. You who will own tomorrow.” I was genuinely creeped out by Alex Bell’s Frozen Charlotte and for Lisa Williamson’s The Art of Being Normal I’ve underlined a cryptic “good on desire”. In Peter Bunzl’s Cogheart I admired the way the book resolved to give satisfaction but left threads for the next book.

The line which really tickled me in David Solomon’s My Brother is a Superhero was: “I don’t know what it was but something about the situation made people want to cook meat slowly in large pots.” That still makes me laugh. From Rachel Ward’s Numbers I’d picked out a well-done sex scene on page 135, which I seem to remember involved hay and a barn, and in David Almond’s A Song for Ella Grey I wished I’d written the prose on pages 51 and 275.

These notes are all very personal to me and my experience of the books. As I flick through, I’m transported back into those stories and how I felt about them. And reviewing the notes gives a better chance of the information making it into long-term memory.

So I’d strongly recommend keeping a book journal if you want to be a writer. Make your own peculiar comments and build up a bespoke “How to write” handbook full of the bits which interest you. Plus, it’s a good reason if you needed one to buy more stationery.

Oh, and those clever bookseller types at Mr B’s who like a challenge found the book I was after. The orange book written by Richard/Roberta turned out to be Mr Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan. And the cover is blue.

Written by Tracy Darnton


Tracy author pic.jpgTracy Darnton’s The Truth About Lies will be published by Stripes on July 12th 2018. Now she’s written a thriller on memory, she hopes to be much better at remembering.

Follow Tracy on Twitter @TracyDarnton

#thetruthaboutlies

Blog Tour: All Rights Reserved by Gregory Scott Katsoulis

Synopsis from Goodreads

In a world where every word and gesture is copyrighted, patented or trademarked, one girl elects to remain silent rather than pay to speak, and her defiant and unexpected silence threatens to unravel the very fabric of society.

Speth Jime is anxious to deliver her Last Day speech and celebrate her transition into adulthood. The moment she turns fifteen, Speth must pay for every word she speaks (“Sorry” is a flat ten dollars and a legal admission of guilt), for every nod ($0.99/sec), for every scream ($0.99/sec) and even every gesture of affection. She’s been raised to know the consequences of falling into debt, and can’t begin to imagine the pain of having her eyes shocked for speaking words that she’s unable to afford.

But when Speth’s friend Beecher commits suicide rather than work off his family’s crippling debt, she can’t express her shock and dismay without breaking her Last Day contract and sending her family into Collection. Backed into a corner, Speth finds a loophole: rather than read her speech–rather than say anything at all–she closes her mouth and vows never to speak again. Speth’s unexpected defiance of tradition sparks a media frenzy, inspiring others to follow in her footsteps, and threatens to destroy her, her family and the entire city around them.

Review

First of all, I would like to add that if I lived in this world I would probably be up for Collection a day or two after my Last Day. I love talking way too much, which will make me spend way more than I could afford. Secondly, I would like to apologise to my future descendants. If the world ever becomes like this in the future (and ain’t so hard to believe that it might) you would probably end up in servitude due to my infringements nowadays. Apologies!

Now to the important bit, I absolutely devoured this book. I got so engrossed in it that I swear I could hear my own cuff buzzing every time I reacted to the book. Even the boyfriend thought something was wrong because I was so quiet. Well, quieter than usual. I can never be THAT quiet. Took me a moment to get back to reality, back to being a very happy chatter-box.

I was first drawn to reading All Rights Reserved by Gregory Scott Katsoulis because its concept reminded me of the premise used in the Black Mirror TV anthology. Love that show! What makes both so scary is the actual possibility that this future can be a reality. It also makes you think about how your own actions today can affect people in the future.

What I loved about the book is that the main character Speth is the kind of person who does something remarkable by accident and due to being in shock, but then she sticks to it. Initially, probably due to stubbornness and grief, but later because she realises that her silence can actually change the world. Even when her own family little world starts to fall apart, she sticks to it. Even when she wanted to scream it out, she sticks to it.

However, Speth recklessness and poor choices makes her not as lovable as other characters. At times I wanted to just scream ‘What the heck are you doing?’ but that will probably cost me too much. It’s a very clever concept with an amazing world-building that will draw you completely into the book.

I’m not gonna lie, if it was me I would be making sure if I could get Nando’s and Starbucks to be my Brand. This girl can’t be silent unless she is eating! Not only will I have free food, but I will not be spending any money by talking.

If you are a fan of dystopian books and love Black Mirror this is definitely the book for you. However, if you like talking as much as I do, this book is an Horror story!

Rating: ★★★★☆

All Rights Reserved by Gregory Scott Katsoulis will be out in paperback on the 12th of July and is available for pre-order on Amazon(affiliated link).

Thanks HQ Stories for sending me a paperback copy of All Rights Reserved in exchange for my honest review.

*FangirlSince1988 xxx

AllRights_Blogtour

Blog Tour: Just Don’t Mention It by Estelle Maskame

Warning: This book contains Domestic Violence

Synopsis from Goodreads

Tyler Bruce – hell raiser and bad boy – tells his story in his own words.

Alternating between past and present, Just Don’t Mention It is narrated from Tyler’s perspective. We see his life as a twelve-year-old boy suffering physical abuse at the hands of his dad. We see him as the daredevil seventeen-year-old we first met in Did I Mention I Love You?, the stepbrother who falls head over heels for Eden.

In these parallel timelines we finally understand the enigmatic Tyler’s complex story and his innermost thoughts – on his dad, his mom, on Tiffani and Eden – all the things Eden wasn’t witness to. And, crucially, the reader gains heartbreaking insight into why Tyler becomes the self-obsessed, angry and unhappy guy we encounter in DIMILY.

This utterly addictive rollercoaster of a novel gives voice to one of the most adored characters in Estelle Maskame’s extraordinary international bestseller, Did I Mention I Love You?

Review

I didn’t realise what I was getting into when I got myself in the blog tour for Just Don’t Mention It by Estelle Maskame. First, the book is massive! Like big-enough-to-kill-someone-with-it kind of massive. Secondly, I have never read any of the DIMILY Series books.

Seriously Ana? 

Tsst Tsst… and you call yourself a book blogger hun?

Well, I’m trying okay, but there is just too many books and not enough money to buy them all! It’s a cruel world out there!

The book arrived just in time for my holiday to Portugal. Thinking this would be the perfect summer book, I took it with me. I’ve previously heard that the DIMILY series it’s quite a delightful and fun summer read, so I thought this will be the same. Nope. Unless you want to cry into your cocktails by the pool!

Just Don’t Mention It goes quite deep, deep into Tyler’s suffering and abuse at his Dad’s hands. The story goes back and forwards, between Tyler being 12 years old, to 5 years later when he meets Eden. It’s set in California mostly during the summer, which tricks you to feel warm inside and the romance blossoming between Tyler and Eden makes you feel all giddy too. However, every time it goes to a flashback of Tyler being abused by his Dad, it’s like I’m being punched in the heart! Can we just wrap him in bubble wrap and keep him safe?

Even though I haven’t read the DIMILY series I thought I could actually be of help in this blog tour. Mostly, because I wanted to check for myself if you could really get into the story by starting with Tyler’s perspective instead of Eden’s. Also, I love Ink Road Publishers too much to refuse being part of their amazing blog tours. They have provided me with some of the best reads of 2018 (also their book mail is perfection!), and after hearing how the series is loved by everyone I just had to read it.

What I’m trying to say here is, that once again Ink Road provided me with another fabulous read and you definitely can start the series from Just Don’t Mention It.  However, I believe that part of the mystery in DIMILY is Eden breaking Tyler’s barriers. The whole good girl falls in love with bad boy story line, will be amiss if you start reading the series from JDMI. Instead, you get broken boy is misunderstood by everyone until good girl sees him for who he is, which is still pretty awesome.

Estelle’s writing is so beautifully descriptive and the story flows so effortlessly between past and present. I’m pretty curious to read the rest of the series now, and see a different side of the story. You definitely don’t need to be a fan of the DIMILY series to pick up Just Don’t Mention It, but you will definitely be picking up the rest of the series once you finish this one!

Whenever you arrive to this story – either from Tyler’s side or Eden’s side – you will leave loving them both.

Rating: ★★★★

Just Don’t Mention It by Estelle Maskame is out now in paperback and is available Amazon(affiliated link).

Thanks Ink Road for sending me a paperback copy of Just Don’t Mention It in exchange for my honest review.

*FangirlSince1988 xxx

On Holiday

Untitled design

I’M ON HOLIDAY!!!!!

Blogging will resume when I’m back on the 21st of June!

If you want to know what I’m up to while in Portugal, make sure to check me on Twitter and Instagram. As will be posting some of my adventures there, expect a lot of food photos!

See you later!

*FangirlSince1988 xxx

 

Top 5 Wednesday: Favourite Summer Reads

TOP 5 WEDNESDAY (2)

Summer is just around the corner! So get your swimsuits ready, put some shades on and grab some reading suggestions, because today’s T5W is all about our Favourite Summer reads.

When the weather starts to get warmer, I tend to prefer lighter reads (around the 300 pages instead of 400+). Mostly, because I don’t do well with heat. Yes! I know, I’m Portuguese and can’t handle the heat.

Anyway, I do tend to get quite ill and fatigued with the heat (very prone to heat strokes) so I find it harder to concentrate on a heavy book. Also when on holiday, I can’t stay longer than 10 min out of the water so a lighter book makes it easier for me to feel like I achieved something during those breaks. I’m telling you, next big thing should be waterproof books.

Hope you enjoy some of my Favourite Summer Reads, even though some haven’t actually been read during the Summer.

Big Bones by Laura Dockrill

71skPFf4U1L

Yes I know, this book reaches the 400 pages, but still was such an amazing read. Even though I haven’t read it over the Summer, I feel that this book is such a perfect Summer read. It is just a feelgood, body positive story and the perfect book to compliment your beach body! Because all bodies are beach bodies!

Synopsis from Goodreads: The latest teen novel from the sparkling Laura Dockrill, introducing Bluebelle, and her moving, hilarious take on food, body image and how we look after ourselves and others.

A heart-warming teen story from the unique voice of Laura Dockrill, about Bluebelle, aka BB, aka Big Bones – a sixteen-year-old girl encouraged to tackle her weight even though she’s perfectly happy, thank you, and getting on with her life and in love with food. Then a tragedy in the family forces BB to find a new relationship with her body and herself. Moving, memorable and hilarious.

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

51bhgwqDfEL._SX324_BO1,204,203,200_

I read We Were Liars a few years back over the Summer and I absolutely loved it. However, if you don’t want to be crying over your cocktails by the beach during your holiday (Totally didn’t happen to me! Nah…Who am I kidding? Yes it did!) maybe would be best to read it on a warm Summer evening (behind closed doors!).

Synopsis from Goodreads: A beautiful and distinguished family.
A private island.
A brilliant, damaged girl; a passionate, political boy.
A group of four friends—the Liars—whose friendship turns destructive.
A revolution. An accident. A secret.
Lies upon lies.
True love.
The truth.

We Were Liars is a modern, sophisticated suspense novel from New York Times bestselling author, National Book Award finalist, and Printz Award honoree E. Lockhart.

Read it.

And if anyone asks you how it ends, just LIE

Paper Towns by John Green

51+AGDK79fL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_

I have to say that John Green books are usually the perfect size for a Summer read. I enjoyed Paper Towns in because it has the whole road trip adventure, that one can only dream (or read) about.

Synopsis from Goodreads: Who is the real Margo?

Quentin Jacobsen has spent a lifetime loving the magnificently adventurous Margo Roth Spiegelman from afar. So when she cracks open a window and climbs into his life—dressed like a ninja and summoning him for an ingenious campaign of revenge—he follows. After their all-nighter ends, and a new day breaks, Q arrives at school to discover that Margo, always an enigma, has now become a mystery. But Q soon learns that there are clues—and they’re for him. Urged down a disconnected path, the closer he gets, the less Q sees the girl he thought he knew..

Every Day by David Levithan

everyday

I really loved this book when I read it a few Summers ago. The whole genderless concept for the main character is what initially attracted me to grab a copy. I read in one sitting because it was impossible to put down. I haven’t read Another Day or Someday yet. Maybe they can be my some of Summer reads for this year.

Synopsis from Goodreads: Every day a different body. Every day a different life. Every day in love with the same girl.
There’s never any warning about where it will be or who it will be. A has made peace with that, even established guidelines by which to live: Never get too attached. Avoid being noticed. Do not interfere.

It’s all fine until the morning that A wakes up in the body of Justin and meets Justin’s girlfriend, Rhiannon. From that moment, the rules by which A has been living no longer apply. Because finally A has found someone A wants to be with—day in, day out, day after day

Riding The Magic Carpet by Tom Anderson

41gYt+TN8nL._SX321_BO1,204,203,200_

I love Surf! I’m super bad at it (sorry Dad!), but I love it so much. So of course I couldn’t do a Summer reads list without adding a surf book into the mix. Ridding The Magic Carpet is a nonfiction book that takes you on Surfer’s Odyssey around the world. It’s going to make you want to travel, and is going to make you feel like the Summer is Endless! (Got it?)

Synopsis from Goodreads“The right-hand point at Jeffreys Bay is one of the surfing world’s most exciting finds, and from the age of twelve it had been my life’s purpose to surf there.” J-Bay, South Africa, has the fantasy, the almost mythical waves every surfer dreams of riding once in their lifetime. But Tom wouldn’t go until he was ready. He would seek out surf-spots from the virgin reef-breaks of the Outer Orkneys to the temple point-breaks of Indonesia, from the beautiful beaches of France to the wilds of Sri Lanka, on his quest to ride the waves of his dreams. Get on the road, get stoked, and get in the water.

These are my Top 5 Wednesday for this week.

Have you read any of my suggestions? Any that piqued your interest?

Let me know some of your Favourite Summer Reads in the comments bellow.

Happy Readings!

*FangirlSince1988 xxx

Blog Tour: Indecent by Corinne Sullivan (Mild Spoilers!)

WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT, SEX WITH A CONSENTED MINOR, DEPRESSION

Synopsis by Goodreads:

Shy, introverted Imogene Abney has always been fascinated by the elite world of prep schools, having secretly longed to attend one since she was a girl in Buffalo, New York. So, shortly after her college graduation, when she’s offered a teaching position at the Vandenberg School for Boys, an all-boys prep school in Westchester, New York, she immediately accepts, despite having little teaching experience—and very little experience with boys.

When Imogene meets handsome, popular Adam Kipling a few weeks into her tenure there, a student who exudes charm and status and ease, she’s immediately drawn to him. Who is this boy who flirts with her without fear of being caught? Who is this boy who seems immune to consequences and worry; a boy for whom the world will always provide?

As an obsessive, illicit affair begins between them, Imogene is so lost in the haze of first love that she’s unable to recognize the danger she’s in. The danger of losing her job. The danger of losing herself in the wrong person. The danger of being caught doing something possibly illegal and so indecent.

Exploring issues of class, sex, and gender, this smart, sexy debut by Corinne Sullivan shatters the black-and- white nature of victimhood, taking a close look at blame and moral ambiguity.

Review

Student-Teacher stories always divide people’s opinions, especially when the student is under 18. Still, I jumped at the occasion to read this book, because who’s the person that hadn’t got a bit of a crush on one of their teachers growing up? No one? Just me then.

Indecent by Corinne Sullivan deals with a student-teacher relationship, which I can imagine to be disturbing for anyone who doesn’t like this kind of theme. Imogene it’s a 22 year old teacher apprentice, but she really doesn’t sound older than 16/17 years old. Perhaps it’s her history of anxiety and depression or the fact that she has an unhealthy expectation for relationships that make her look so young.

Not long after arriving at the school, Imogene gets in a sexual relationship with one of the students at the boarding school. At the beginning it’s just sex, but as they get to know each other her feelings start to change too. Due to her lack of experience around boys, she see Adam’s actions as something more than it is.

I believe that she found in Adam what she hoped to get when she was in high school, but never did. At times, Adam himself sounds much more mature than her, which can be showed later in the book when the relationship hits an impasse. Imogene is the adult here, but she is in no way a responsible one. Putting all the blame onto a kid that already has too much on his plate.

Sullivan’s writing style gives you a sense of unease and anxiety, mixed with the expectation that things will work out in the end. As is written in the first person, this writing style does makes you feel exactly how Imogene is feeling. Just like her, you are so focused on her feelings about this relationship, that you forget that the kid here is Adam. He is literally falling apart in front of her, and she is too worried about herself to help him.

Even though I wanted to read the book for the romance, I feel that I got much more out of it. There is a reason why this type of relationships should stay only a fantasy, and Sullivan’s show us exactly why.

The title of this book pretty much sums it all up, it’s all very Indecent.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Indecent by Corinne Sullivan will be out in the 31st of May in paperback and is available for pre-order on Amazon(affiliated link).

Thanks HQ Stories for sending me a paperback copy of Indecent in exchange for my honest review.

*FangirlSince1988 xxx

Blog Tour: Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody

IMG_1786.JPG

Synopsis by Goodreads

Welcome to the City of Sin, where casino families reign, gangs infest the streets…
and secrets hide in every shadow.

Enne Salta was raised as a proper young lady, and no lady would willingly visit New Reynes, the so-called City of Sin. But when her mother goes missing, Enne must leave her finishing school—and her reputation—behind to follow her mother’s trail to the city where no one survives uncorrupted.

Frightened and alone, her only lead is a name: Levi Glaisyer. Unfortunately, Levi is not the gentleman she expected—he’s a street lord and a con man. Levi is also only one payment away from cleaning up a rapidly unraveling investment scam, so he doesn’t have time to investigate a woman leading a dangerous double life. Enne’s offer of compensation, however, could be the solution to all his problems.

Their search for clues leads them through glamorous casinos, illicit cabarets and into the clutches of a ruthless mafia donna. As Enne unearths an impossible secret about her past, Levi’s enemies catch up to them, ensnaring him in a vicious execution game where the players always lose. To save him, Enne will need to surrender herself to the city…

And she’ll need to play.

Review

At first, I wasn’t sure where this book was taking me but I absolutely adored the journey it took me on. Ace of Shades is the first book I’ve read by Amanda Foody and I tell you now that it won’t be the last. Especially, because I need to know what else happens in The Shadow Game series.

Amanda’s world building is truly amazing. At times, it feels that you are the one walking around the North Side of New Reynes trying to outrun the gangs. It’s a world of fantasy and magic that doesn’t feel quite that different from reality, which makes it a bit more  easy to relate.

Foody also writes some very complex, diverse and likeable characters. I realised that this was the first time I read a book with a male bisexual character. A black bisexual gang lord?? If that doesn’t lure you to read this book, then the casino lights and the gambling certainly will.

I’m a sucker for romance, and I absolutely love books when the chemistry is there and the moments where the couple almost kisses keeps happening. Especially when it comes to a series, I love the anticipation of the ‘Will it happen?’. It’s like the author is teasing us, and Amanda surely delivers this romantic suspense very well with Levi and Enne.

The only reason why I haven’t given this book 5 stars, is because I felt that is a bit of a slow burner, which is something  that I love with romance but not when it comes to action. The story is quite interesting from the beginning but the action does take a bit to get going which can make some people not stick with it until the end.  However, once the action picked up I couldn’t stop reading until the very last page. I finished the book wanting more. I still do!

I also love the way the magic or talent is portrayed in this book, is quite an unusual take on things. Peculiarly, because most of the time I felt that the characters weren’t constantly using their talents to get what they needed. Said that, I’m hoping that with the second book things get even more magical and dark. I love how much darker things got by the end, in terms of plot and also character development.

Overall, I utterly loved this book and for sure I’ll be reading the next instalments of The Shadow Game series. If you love a Las Vegas inspired fantasy world, with mystery, gangs and magic then Ace Of Shades should be your next TBR book.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody is available in paperback and you can get it now on Amazon(affiliated link).

Thanks HQ Stories for sending me a paperback copy of Ace of Shades in exchange for my honest review.

*FangirlSince1988 xxx

IMG_1725